Cheese is awesome. We could literally eat it morning, noon and night but we realise a varied diet is important so this got us thinking. Could we put together a box with non-cheese that could taste just as ruddy brilliant?

Meat! That’s it! Cured meat!

Here a Cheese Geek HQ we cut no corners, so we gave the best in the biz a call to see if they would want to help us out on out first ever collaboration box. And here we are...The limited edition Sonny & Cher(cuterie), packed with award-winning cheese and cured meats from The Cheese Geek x Cannon and Cannon.

Here’s the lowdown:

Cornish Kern (200g) - If you’ve tried Kern, you know. If you haven’t, then your life is about to change. It scooped top prize at The World Cheese Awards last year and is a completely justified World Champion. It’s a Gouda style cheese, made with alpine cultures, so it gets the best of both worlds. First it is almost floral sweetness that could make you weep, then out pops the nutty slightly melted butter on toast out of nowhere...close your eyes and you could be eating caramel. It has layer upon layer upon layer...you will love it. Guaranteed.

We’ve paired this with Rare Breed Pork English Coppa (60g). Made by the Cornish Charcuterie near Bude, this artisan Coppa is a delicious cured cut prepared from the shoulder and nape of farm reared Lop pigs. Seasoned, cured and matured for 4 months, it’s worth the wait...and we think this Kern and Coppa are a match made in Cornwall.

Bath Soft (200g - whole) - You’ve guessed it, this charmer is a soft (so it’s not like one of those ironic things where ‘Big John’ is actually teeny) from Bath. He’s one of an army of British soft cheeses that are showing the French what we can do, and it goes against everything that you have ever been taught about cheese...it is made in the shape of a square! Don’t let this throw you though...it is soft, unctuous and creamy with classic mushroom hints (but never too much) and a teeny bit of citrus. It never gets too salty, and it has, of course, the most wonderful ooze. Allez!

Cannon and Cannon Welsh Veal & Sage Salami (60g). We wanted something delicate to pair with our soft and this salami fits the bill perfectly. As the veal is so lean, it’s mixed with a little free range traditional pork back fat so that it has enough fat content to be made into a salami. The herby mixture might make you think you’re eating a Cumberland sausage...add the Bath Soft and you’re on to a winner.

Isle of Wight Blue (approx. 230g - whole) - we call this guy Oscar because he has awards coming out of his ears! Unusually for a blue you’ll get a whole mini-cheese to feast on - sharing is allowed but not recommended. There is just enough trademark blue sharpness in there, but all tempered by an almost unbearably velvety rich creaminess thanks to the Guernsey and Jersey cows, notorious for their rich milk. We’ll ship yours out at just the right age - around 5 weeks - which means you’ll get the perfect amount of punch to go with the Beersticks. No supporting roles here, Oscar is right up there with the best blues in the land.

Beersticks (6 pieces) should be an institution. They look a little like a grown up’s peperami but these are so much better...a hint of truffle and a tickle of chilli, we’ve paired them with our blue but they are so good, we’ll forgive you if you chomp on them on their own. From Kent, they are made from free range pork shoulder from locally sourced pigs, seasoned with a healthy shake of Malawian chilli, pepper and curing salt, then stuffed in to natural casings. They’re dried for a week or so, and usually consumed in seconds. Marvellously moreish.

Welcome to Myrh...ie!

Perfect for the smaller Christmas bash, it contains four cheeses that will keep everyone happy. As well as around 850g of the greatest cheeses known to humanity, you also get 1 pot of Proper Truffle Honey (from Vallebona), 1 pot of Rosebud Preserves Red Onion & Port Marmalade and 1 pack of Peter's Yard Original Crispbreads (because even Batman needs Robin). To top it off, you also get a premium pre 12pm guaranteed, tracked delivery – cheese like this needs to travel in style.

The Brucey Bonus here is that it’s a British Box - every cheese is made on our fair isle. France, eat your heart out! Talk to me more about the cheese I hear you say:

Monty's Cheddar - Cheddar is your go to cheese, we get it. But this isn't just any cheddar, this is cheddar with the volume cranked up, made in the traditional way, but is also something the kids will tuck in to and won't be crying out for a Cheese String (although these are great too). It’s crumbly, strong and aromatic but not overpowering. A real king amongst the cheds.

Sparkenhoe Red Leicester - It's red. And it's Christmas. Why fight it? Sparkenhoe is in a league of its own, on a one cheese mission to dispel the myths that Red Leicester is boring and mild. The last remaining raw milk, traditional farmhouse Red Leicester made in the world, it’s nutty, buttery, with borderline caramel vibes. Show me the way to Leicester.

Tunworth - This is for you and nobody else....hide it under your napkin/chair/Christmas jumper and scoff it when everyone is too squiffy to notice. It's Camembert-like...but better. It is rich, creamy, buttery and smooth, but at the same time has so much complexity, with a really pleasant cabbage-style bitterness, and a lovely subtle earthy/mushroom aroma that fills your mouth. We've included a truffle honey as paired with the Tunworth, it is probably the greatest combination of foodstuffs ever. No need for Turkey this year, just pass me the Tunny.

Bath Blue - Great for Grandad. Why do Grandads love blue? Beats us...we think this blue cheese should be enjoyed by everyone. It’s made to your traditional Stilton recipe but it's not as lipsmackingly sharp as some. This means you get so much more complexity...slight creamy, teeny bit smokey, big roasted nuttiness, and the most amazing, lingering toasted finish. A superstar of the blue world and more than deserving of the Christmas call-up in place of Stilton. Nobody puts Bath Blue in the corner.

We only stock what we believe to be the very best condiments available to man so you shouldn’t fear our selection. Enjoy it, embrace it and indulge. It is Christmas after all.

You’ve got the family round, we’re talking the grandparents, maybe aunts and uncles plus your tribe. There are repeats of Only Fools and Horses on the telly, you need something to support the incoming Queen’s speech. We hear you. Frankie hears you, and she comes bearing gifts.

Five cheeses, over 1kg in total, a pot of Proper Truffle Honey (shout out to Vallebona), Red Onion & Port Marmalade (shout out to Rosebud Preserves), 2 packs of Original Crispbreads (shout out to Peter’s Yard), guaranteed pre 12pm delivery (shout out to DPD).

So a kilo of cheese. This isn’t just any cheese though. Let’s run through the superstars:

Hafod - Some say cheddar, we say Hafod. Cheddar...Hafod, cheddar...HAFOD. Sometimes the farminess can be too much, to the point it has you reaching for water to cleanse yourself. Not here though, because Hafod uses some starter cultures usually found in alpine cheeses (think Comte). Some of that ‘punch me in the face’ farmy cheddar tang is balanced by a borderline sweet smooth nuttiness, that also rounds off the finish. So it’s like the perfect mouth party, where all the guests leave on time, no lingering about when you just want to go to bed.

Cornish Kern - If you’ve tried Kern, you know. If you haven’t, you need to immediately exit that rock you’ve been hiding under. It scooped top prize at The World Cheese Awards last year and is a completely justified World Champion. It’s a Gouda style cheese, made with alpine cultures, so it gets the best of both worlds. First it is almost floral sweetness that could make you weep, then out pops the nutty slightly melted butter on toast out of nowhere...close your eyes and you could be eating caramel. It has layer upon layer upon layer...you will love it. Guaranteed.

Bath Soft - You’ve guessed it, this charmer is a soft from Bath. He’s one of an army of British soft cheeses that are showing the French what we can do, and it goes against everything that you have ever been taught about cheese...it is made in the shape of a square! Don’t let this throw you though – it is soft, unctuous and creamy with classic mushroom hints (but never too much) and a teeny bit of citrus. It never gets too salty, and it has, of course, the most wonderful ooze. Allez!

Golden Cenarth - Kenny to his friends. And he is blessed with friends because Kenny has such a warm heart. Yes, you need to get over the pong (but isn’t that half the reason we love cheese?!) but when you do, you’ll find a soft that’s incredibly delicate. He’s buttery & creamy but maintains a fermented fruity sweet tang from being washed in cider. Be warned, if Kenny is in a good mood, spoons may well be necessary.

Bath Blue - Not just for Christmas. Or just for Grandad. Bath Blue should be on Santa’s list for everyone. From the same farm as his soft brother, you’ll be able to settle in to a favourite armchair with its creamy butteriness. Whilst there, you can ponder the fact that it’s handmade. What excellent hands they must have been.

Coupled with the top notch condiments we’ve included, this British Twist on Christmas will happily fill 15 hungry family members. If it doesn’t, phone the cheese hotline...The Cheese Geek himself will want to know.

Cheese Geeks unite. This is probably the greatest selection of cheese ever brought together in one handsome box. Put a bow on it, this turkey is done. There will be no Goldie Looking Pain here as our ultimate Christmas box is dressed to impress and backed up by some seriously good cheese. The best there is from across the world at this time of year, and a chance for you to experience the same indulgence as The Cheese Geek himself at his Christmas meal.

We say that Goldie can look after 32 people but this selection is so good, we’re not going to argue if this is just for you. We also include the best condiments in the business: Proper Truffle Honey from Vallebona, Red Onion & Port Marmalade from Rosebud Preserves, Pear & Brandy Jam also from Rosebud, 2 packs of Peter’s Yard Original Crispbreads and guaranteed pre 12pm delivery with DPD.

2 kilos of cheese. Put the kettle on, take a seat, and let me talk you through it:

Hafod - Some say cheddar, we say Hafod. Cheddar...Hafod, cheddar...HAFOD. Sometimes the farminess can be too much, to the point it has you reaching for water to cleanse yourself. Not here though, because Hafod uses some starter cultures usually found in alpine cheeses (think Comte). So some of that ‘punch me in the face’ farmy cheddar tang is balanced by a borderline sweet smooth nuttiness, that also rounds off the finish. So it’s like the perfect mouth party, where all the guests leave on time, no lingering about when you just want to go to bed.

Comte (aged 18-22 months) - you might be forgiven for thinking this taste like sweets. It’s partly the texture but mainly the pure awesomeness of the cheese. It’s like fudge and butterscotch rolled in to one with a healthy dollop of cream. This Alpine cracker is the ultimate indulgence, especially when it’s been matured for around 20 months which is our favourite age. It still has that slight pleasant supple texture and satisfying bite, but it has developed a gorgeous crunch that adds that new dimension. On the taste stakes, it is also just moving into the more punchy flavour, but hasn’t yet let go off those sweet milky vibes that are just so moreish.

Cornish Kern - If you’ve tried Kern, you know. If you haven’t, you need to immediately exit that rock you’ve been hiding under. It scooped top prize at The World Cheese Awards last year and is a completely justified World Champion. It’s a Gouda style cheese, made with alpine cultures, so it gets the best of both worlds. First it is almost floral sweetness that could make you weep, then out pops the nutty slightly melted butter on toast out of nowhere...close your eyes and you could be eating caramel. It has layer upon layer upon layer...you will love it. Guaranteed.

Tunworth - This is for you and nobody else. Hide it under your napkin/chair/Chritmas jumper and scoff it when everyone is too squiffy to notice. It's Camembert-like, but better. It is rich, creamy, buttery and smooth, but at the same time has so much complexity, with a really pleasant cabbage-style bitterness, and a lovely subtle earthy/mushroom aroma that fills your mouth. We've included a truffle honey as paired with the Tunworth, it is probably the greatest combination of foodstuffs ever. No need for Turkey this year, just pass me the Tunny.

Vacherin - Made from the milk of Montbeliarde cows when they return home from their summer hols out on the alpine pastures, this seasonal cheese is so Christmassy, we’re surprised it’s not featured in any carols. Many will eat Turkey on December 25th, here at Cheese Geek HQ we will probably sit down with a baked Vacherin. Each. So goo-ey, Instagram will go nuts for it. Spoon it on to a Peter’s yard Crispbread. Then repeat...and repeat...and repeat. It can be very hard to stop actually, but at least you know you will have to stop in April when Vacherin stops being made until September, giving you plenty of time to get beach body ready.

Golden Cenarth - Kenny to his friends. And he is blessed with friends because Kenny has such a warm heart. Yes, you need to get over the pong (but isn’t that half the reason we love cheese?!) but when you do, you’ll find a soft that’s incredibly delicate. He’s buttery & creamy but maintains a fermented fruity sweet tang from being washed in cider. Be warned, if Kenny is in a good mood, spoons may well be necessary.

Bath Blue - not just for Christmas. Or just for Grandad. Bath Blue should be on Santa’s list for everyone. From the same farm as his soft brother, you’ll be able to settle in to a favourite armchair with its creamy butteriness. Whilst there, you can ponder the fact that it’s handmade. What excellent hands they must have been.

Add the condiments in to the mixer and you have a serious cheese party. Sod Christmas, this should happen all year round.