WELCOME TO FRANKIE!

You’ve got the family round, we’re talking the grandparents, maybe aunts and uncles plus your tribe. There are repeats of Only Fools and Horses on the telly, you need something to support the incoming Queen’s speech. We hear you. Frankie hears you, and she comes bearing gifts.

Five cheeses, Red Onion & Port Marmalade, Pear & Brandy Chutney (shout out to Rosebud Preserves), 2 packs of Crispbreads (shout out to Peter’s Yard), guaranteed pre 4pm delivery (shout out to APC).

We’ll also include the soon to be indispensable guide to building your own showstopping cheesboard. You’ll have cheese to thank for being propelled to social media stardom. Little cousin Jimmy will be narked that you have more followers than him...but at least he’ll have the cheese!!

This isn’t just any cheese though. Let’s run through the superstars (if you’ve already read through Myrh..ie!, here’s a clue: they’re the same...but look at the quantities! And the extra condies!):

Westcombe Cheddar (300g) - Cheddar is your go to cheese, we get it. But this isn't just any cheddar, this is Cranberries inspired chedd...WOAH. STOP! We don’t mean this glorious handmade with raw milk cheddar has been infiltrated by cheese-killing red berries, we mean it lingers. Does it have to? Yes it does, and we’re more than happy to let it. She’s deep, complex, with flavour notes of hazelnut and grass. Linger all the way as far as we’re concerned.

Sparkenhoe Red Leicester (300g) - It's red. And it's Christmas. Why fight it? Sparkenhoe is in a league of its own, on a one cheese mission to dispel the myths that Red Leicester is boring and mild. The last remaining raw milk, traditional farmhouse Red Leicester made in the world, it’s nutty, buttery, with borderline caramel vibes. Show me the way to Leicester.

Comte (300g) - Yes, Comte. You’ve heard of it, you’ve tried it, you probably like it. Well that’s not telling half the story. Our Comte is a worldie - the difference being the length of maturation. Anyone can slice you up a 12 monther but will that leave you with a rich, nutty sweetness that reminds you of eating toffee or milk chocolate? NO. We insist on a minimum of 20 months here. It’s the best in the biz, no questions.

Baron Bigod (250g) - This is for you and nobody else....hide it under your napkin/chair/Christmas jumper and scoff it when everyone is too squiffy to notice. It's Brie-like...but better. It has a perfect balance between rich decadent butter, and smooth earthy mushroom. Eating it feels extravagant, an almost comforting experience. It’s exactly what Christmas should be.

Cropwell Bishop Organic Blue Stilton (300g) - Great for Grandad. Why do Grandads love blue? Beats us...we think this blue cheese should be enjoyed by everyone. The Bish is the true (gran)daddy when it comes to Stiltons though. Awards coming out of its veins, handmade, a recipe that goes back centuries. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. The result? Velvety but firm texture, rich, creamy and a salty kick from the rind. Christmas wouldn’t be the same without it.

NB. What you see is what you get. It’s tricky for us to swap cheeses in and out - if you’re looking to customise your box, consider The Lionel or The Tina.